Working Girl Guidance

More notes from inside the industry on how to run sex work as a business.

The 6 weeks since the last blog went into stripping out the final complications from my life. Fewer ‘adult’ things, and more adulting.
I feel I’ve entered lockdown again five years later. I’m working from home, the work flat is gone.
The commute is two flights of stairs and I’ve forgotten how to drive. The house has never been tidier and I can’t remember the last time I went outside. Only weeks ago I recall gently mocking someone for not leaving the ‘island’ in a while, but now I get it.

My stress levels have upped and gone. I thought I was going to absolutely hate working from home, despite it being the most sensible thing to do in my current circumstances.
I planned and I packed for weeks on end, mentally rearranging the furniture for the best work/life separation. It’s not perfect, but I’m doing what I can, with what I’ve got right now.

What didn’t occur to me in all that time was that now I can work when I feel like it.

Before it was such a mission getting up to the flat, that once I’d got there, I’d feel like I had to keep working most of the day. If it was quiet, sometimes I’d stay late incase someone text.
Now I’m at home, I can just take jobs on as & when it suits. It’s liberating, I’m feeling infinitely better for it and it’s still in the early stages.

Onto the actual blog:

Working Girl Guidance.

A few more bits of advice for people just getting started in the industry.

I always start drafting these blogs in my head with the idea it’ll be short & snappy. And then I scribble out a few ideas and realize I could write an entire book on each topic if I had a little more time. The things we’d all do, if we had a little more time..

When I wrote the ‘Shall we begin?’ post a while back it was about giving people thinking about starting in sex work something to think about to make the journey easier, or snap them out of a silly, glamourised idea.

As always, when I write, my experience is mostly learned first hand, or through knowing female escorts who are doing ‘full service’, but a fair chunk of it can be extrapolated out.

If the Shall We? post didn’t put you off, I wanted to add more detail for some common themes that I see talked about.

Accommodation. Where are you going to work from?

Is it safe to work from home?

Some key things to think about here:

Are you friendly with the neighbours? Not for much longer.

Are your family the type to drop by with no notice? Change the locks, hide in the wardrobe if they drop by.

If you own the place you work from, some clients will pay to look up your name on the Land Registry website, and then they’ll tell you that they’ve done that. If you rent the place, some will try to tell your landlord what you’re up to.
Baffling behaviour. Bin them.

Some clients might take it upon themselves to say things such as ‘Well, I know you’re in there so you might as well let me visit.’ on their way back from the pub on a Friday night, as I remember not so fondly from my earliest work days.

Have you got personal effects around the house with your real name on? Or pictures of your loved ones? Have a walk around with a fresh set of eyes, if you weren’t you, what would you spot?

What’s it actually going to feel like having people in your house? Have you got a spare bedroom or an annex to help you mentally separate out home from work?

We’ve all got to start somewhere, but let me say this in no uncertain terms: there is a high chance you’ll get total strangers in your house who do not know how to wipe properly and will leave marks on your sheets. Some of them manage this impressive feat even after a shower. You don’t want to sleep in that same bed if you can avoid it. Those sheets can be washed, burned or used to wrap up the corpse of the perpetrator, but the mental stain doesn’t fade.

Will you rent your own hotel room / Air Bnb / borrow a friend’s place to work from?

Hotels are becoming more complicated. You ideally want a big chain one, where there are plenty of people milling about. Most modern hotels are getting key cards, so clients can’t just walk into the building anymore. It is in many ways safer, but also, inconvenient. Be prepared to meet them by the lift, or in the corridor somewhere. Although I don’t smoke, I have often found myself ‘nipping out for cigarettes’ and had people follow me back in.

Some wonderful working people have compiled spreadsheets of hotels & Airbnb places that are suitable to work from, but take these with a pinch of salt. They can be outdated.

Many Airbnb places have doorbell cameras. Which reminds me, I’ve known working girls who have bought property, rented it out as an airbnb and then found their guests are also working girls, which they then took offence at(?!).

Take extra sheets & towels with you, and then swipe spares off the maid’s cleaning trolleys too. And air freshener because too many hotel windows don’t open anymore.
And snacks.

Will you visit your clients at their home or hotel?

Personally I gave up after a few too many hours spent in the car, but it’s good to keep your options open.

Think logistics, where are you going to park? Leave enough time to get there. My favourite is to share my ‘live location’ on What’s App as I approach. It’s my way of saying ‘I will be late’.

Keep supplies in your car in case you happen to be out & get offered some work.

Is it safe? Are there going to be other people in the house other than the client? Are the hotel receptionists going to give you a hard time?

Give a trusted person the address or the hotel room number. Tell them when you’re finishing. Agree what they should do if you don’t text them at the designated time.

Long coats are your friend in the winter, for hiding the short dresses you’ll likely be asked to wear.

When you walk into a hotel, look like you know where you’re going. If you still can’t find the lifts, say your partner has already checked in to the room and you just need pointing in the right direction.

If the bitch at the Hilton reception clocks what you’re up to and refuses to let you register your car number plate, plead innocence with the restaurant manager whilst wearing a low cut top later that evening and he’ll key it in to their system for you.

Some workers like to tour constantly, as in get hotels and move from area to area every few days.

I can see the benefits, you’re always meeting new clients, and potentially taking time to be a tourist whilst covering your costs. I think this works well for workers who love to travel, or are well known at home & need to avoid bumping into people they know.

Personally I can’t handle the constant stress of packing my all stuff up, sneaking into hotels & not having a washing machine.

If you rent a place in a traditional tenancy, so that it’s separate from your home, and used solely for work, there are other things to think about.

Have you got good phone signal? Check this when you view the place.

Water pressure. People are going to need showers.

Are you going to get broadband? Remember the minimum term contract.

Are you just there to work, or do you need things like a TV and cookware for your breaks?

Are the walls thin? I recall getting an email to my escort inbox, many years after leaving my first flat. It was my old neighbour telling me he’d heard a lot.

Where’s the front door? Is it overlooked? You want either totally away on its own, or hidden in plain sight in a busy area so people can just slide in.

Some neighbours are amazing, helpful and keep themselves to themselves. They might drop their work schedule into casual conversation the first time you meet. Keep those ones sweet.

Other neighbours have got a lot of time on their hands. And that sentence right there is the most positive thing I can find to say about that type of person.

Past experience tells me keeping a low profile is the way to go. Don’t run round introducing yourself unnecessarily.

Other than guessing by the general population, it’s largely a gamble. You might have to move again if they give you too much hassle.

With any location, find a succinct way of describing how to get to the door so clients aren’t loitering or climbing over your neighbour’s fence on the opposite side of the road (true story, how f’ing difficult is it?).

Give them enough info so they can suss out how to get to you before setting off, but not so much info that you’re at risk of them ‘address collecting’.

I’ve always had pretty good vision. I found out not everyone can see numbers on houses at a quick glance from a distance, and will decide the next best course of action is to begin climbing fences or trying random doors. Bear that in mind.

Think about parking advice, and information such as local cash points, or cafes people can wait in if they came by train and are Super early.

Keep tabs on local events that might bring extra traffic in the area on the days you plan to work.

Keep it clean & welcoming. Empty the bins regularly. Change the sheets. Keep fresh towels & toiletries in. It doesn’t need to be fancy, but practical. Sometimes just having a phone charger people can use is a life saver.

Have snacks in case it’s a long day. Did I mention snacks already? Snacks. Keep more supplies than you think you’ll need.

Have a think about how much you’ll work. If you plan to see multiple people in a day, will you leave gaps?

Personally I prefer to space my work out. I like to change sheets, have a shower, get some food, check some emails. That kind of thing. Whilst I remember, build up a small selection of clothes that are easy on / easy off & don’t need ironing.

Some workers are gifted with an innate ability to catapult people out the door on the 59th minute, reapply lipstick in 3 seconds and go again, without a third thought.

I know full well, that if I ever tried to see clients back to back, they’d dance together on the door step. The last guy will have somehow got jizz on the ceiling and it’ll have dripped into my hair. I would be trying to wash it and dry it in record time, whilst he takes 7 minutes per shoe to redress himself, telling me a story about a recent bereavement that I’m hesitant to interrupt, but can’t really even hear because I’m in the shower with cum in my ear. Having said that, sometimes I accidentally see people back to back, because the last one took 14 minutes to put his f*cking shoes on & I had to eat my lunch whilst showering.

Advertising & Photography.

Start simple with the photography. You don’t need to go all out & pay for a fancy boudoir shoot. Research a few flattering poses & get some good natural lighting. Apps can help you do basic editing. Get someone to help you or use a mirror so you can see what you look like.
I often find the images I dislike of myself, are the ones blokes prefer. Go figure. Do keep it realistic. Erase bruises, but don’t photoshop a third boob on.

Personally, I don’t think it matters too much your age or your dress size, there is a market for everyone, within reason. Don’t go mad on the photoshop & have clients turn up expecting someone else, is what I’m saying here. Find your niche & celebrate it.

I’ve said this once, I’ll say it again. Have a real good think about if your face is going to be in those photos or not. Once it’s out. It is out. There is no going back.

Cameras can be concealed in pens, plug sockets, and things that look like car keys. If you don’t want to be filmed, keep your wits about you. Even though I offer ‘being filmed’, I am sure there are people who have secretly recorded me, only to find me glaring at the poorly hidden camera & pulling silly faces throughout. Enjoy watching it back mate.

Advertising. It’s not my place to dictate where you advertise. None of the platforms is perfect. All I know is that there are more and more and more rules for these sites, whilst they try to keep up with ever tightening legislation, to the point it’s getting difficult.

Keep the info on your profile balanced between usefully detailed but straightforward, men with erections lose the ability to read and to navigate like some kind of erectile dyslexia.

Decide if you prefer emails, or texts, or phone calls. I like to be able to have info in a text so I can refer back to it. I absolutely cannot stand phone calls, as anyone who has ever rung me will know. I sound both surprised and annoyed that I’m on the phone and I’m the one who chose to answer.
If someone I know well calls me unexpectedly I assume it’s a pocket dial. If they keep ringing, someone must have died. Facetiming me, except for when I have explicitly asked for assistance on a DIY matter, results in an automatic excommunication.

Look at marketing, if you’re not getting much work, does something need to change?
Is your profile too negative? Focus on telling people what you do like, what you can do well. Don’t list off the ‘don’t do this’ ‘don’t do that’ too strongly.

My personal favourite for marketing is to write blogs that veer between informative, comedic and downright unhinged. Really let people into my personality, before I let them into my vagina.

Get an accountant. Do I need to explain this one?

There are two types of people in this world, and some of them fucking love a spreadsheet. I do not excel at Excel and prefer to outsource my problems.

Cash is fine, but getting harder & harder to spend. If you want a mortgage one day, you’ll need to pay tax. HMRC is often referred to as our pimp.

Get your lies sorted, but keep them close to the truth.

I prefer to lie down than to lie, but, sometimes you just have to.

You’ll need to lie to the bank, especially if you want a business account, or you aren’t getting one. If they find out, they may well freeze your assets & delete your account. PayPal is a liability.

You’ll need to lie when people ask what you do for a living. Chances are, you’re going to end up with a gap on your CV. You either commit to building skills that will see you self employed forever, or you find someone who’s going to be your reference.

You may need to lie to your accountant, your mortgage broker, and the person sorting out your income protection insurance, the bank clerk, friends, family, future employers, landlords, the list goes on. Exhausting. Keep the lies simple and as close to the truth as you can.

Don’t lie to the sexual health nurse. The good ones have got your back. The bad nurses who tell you should change job, need to take a long look in a mirror.

How do you value yourself?

I realised a while back, I’d never really put my rates up. I had of course, put them up over the years. I’ve got into the habit of checking the inflation rate from time to time, and it occurred to me recently that I’d ended up charging technically less than what I started out at back in 2012.

In some ways it’s only fair that I’ve kept them the same, I offer fewer services and discovered the joy of the word ‘no’.

But in many ways I’ve improved, I swapped red bull for sleep. I have a much better grasp on hair dye & make up & my sanity, generally I’ve aged well.

Some days I can hold an interesting conversation, I know I can massage well. I’m less sexually adventurous but generally offer a better all-round experience than I could have done at 20.

New clients or those in different locations might be willing to pay me more. People I’ve known for over a decade may insist on the older rates & get less from me, but they’re a safe bet, a known quantity.

It’s a tricky balance to find is what I’m getting at. Something, something, supply and demand. Go read Freakonomics.

When you start out, generally you have a look at what other comparative locals are charging and go for that ball park figure. If you’re happy with less work at a higher rate, go for it. Lower rates might see you overrun with demand, but leave the more discerning gents questioning if there’s a flaw.

Some service providers like to charge extras for specific acts. Personally, I haven’t done much of that, because I think it breaks the flow if you want to add something in mid-session, or when I did used to ask extra, I thought it would stop people asking, but actually everyone was happy to pay and it just put pressure on me.

From group chats, I note discussion of rates is often disallowed, it’s a touchy subject.

Lastly, figure out what you’re going to do and what you won’t do. And stick to it.

Don’t let people bully you into things that you’re not ok with. What does it matter if it’s his birthday, why would that entitle him to something you don’t usually offer? Aim to keep consistent with everyone, because if you’re giving someone special treatment and they write it online in a review….

I think that’s more than enough for you to be getting on with. Good luck.

K H xx